In the past two weeks, and especially in the past three days, I have experienced a great outpouring of love and compassion from five very special women in my life. Two of these women are my mother figures. One of them is my actual mother. One of them is a friend from work. Another is a long-time friend who lives too far away.

I got some bad news from the dentist the other day. She referred me to a periodontist and wanted to put me on a three month prescription of antibiotic for an infection in my gums. After confirming with the pharmacist that the particular antibiotic the dentist prescribed me is not conducive to pregnancy (or trying to achieve pregnancy, as the case may be), I decided to try to get a different, shorter round of antibiotics — since I really don’t want to wait three months to start trying again. But the dentist didn’t feel comfortable with prescribing me an alternate drug, stressing that the periodontal disease is a more significant issue concerning my attempts to conceive.

Basically, what I hear is: “You have something nasty in you so you can’t make a baby. ”

Yeah, it could be worse. I know.

But it breaks my heart. It makes me want to cry. It makes me scared, confused and incompetent.

Late last night, I received a surprise email from my coworker (the one who recently found out she is pregnant — so I’m about three steps behind her on such a journey). This email was full of support and encouraging words and advice. She sent me a very informative link about periodontal disease and assured me that I should start with my OBGyn (whom I see on Thursday) and get answers from her first, then work my way out towards a solution. That makes perfect sense to me since my biggest concern is for a baby. Of course I should start with the Baby Doctor!

I’ve heard it all before…”Get your dental problems under control before you try to get pregnant,” “Bacterial infections in the gums can cause serious problems for your baby,” “Yadda yadda yadda.” Spare me. I know I know I know. I’m seeing a periodontist early next month (the soonest they could get me in) and I will follow through with that process. It is just my hope that I can do both at the same time. I really don’t want anyone to tell me to wait until my gum disease goes away, into remission or whatthehellever before I try to make a baby. That could take years. I turn 31 in three weeks and I want to have a baby SOONER than later.

These wonderful women I mentioned earlier are blessings from the Divine. They are symbols of motherhood to me. Signs of support and love and understanding and kindness. They are gifts. I cherish them and am eternally grateful for them. And believe me, I don’t let them forget it. I only hope I can be as good a friend or daughter in return. Only time and patience will tell………………..on all of it.