I love the interwebs. I love googling people. Especially people who are going to save my life! Here’s some information on the docs I’ll be seeing next week:

Dr. Eric Kortz M.D., F.A.C.S. - Surgeon in Denver (who did my last biopsy)

Dr. Madeline Kane, M.D., PhD. - Medical Oncologist at University of Colorado Cancer Center
Dr. Steven Curley, M.D., F.A.C.S. - liver specialist at MD Anderson

So next Wednesday, we check in at MD Anderson to see Dr. Curley, get some bloodwork done, EKG, Chest X-rays and CT scan. Woo hoo! Talk about thorough!

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Last night, I went to a baby shower for one of my coworkers. She’s due in January and I had GREAT time, despite the intense pain I was experiencing (you may be familiar with the 1 to 10 pain scale, 10 being the worst? Last night I was somewhere between a 7 and an 8 ). It was great to be around my cohorts and friends! Ate good food, heard great stories and, best of all, got to talk about lots of things OTHER THAN MY CANCER! That was really the main reason I went. I need something else in my life to talk or think about besides tumors, doctors, tests, research, grief, mom, daytime TV. It was awesome!

Unfortunately, though, it broke my heart to have to submit my letter of resignation to my boss. I love my job there at the preschool. L O V E. Some of you may have been following me through the past year there at my job via my other blog so you know just how much I cherished my job and what a blessing it was for me to be able to work in my passion. Not everybody is so lucky and believe me, it took a lot of hard work to get there. Earlier this fall I finally earned a State Classified position as an Early Childhood Educator. This was a big milestone for me and I was so proud and excited to have my own classroom. Over the summer I had begun adjusting to being, basically, in charge of the toddler classroom. I worked long and hard for it and I loved every minute of it (yes, even between the tears I shed through diapering crises and toddler tantrums!).

But a week after my new title became official, I dragged myself to my doctor to see about this abdominal pain I had been experiencing for a week. In many (but not all!) ways, it’s been all downhill since then.

With my cancer diagnosis came the harsh realization that tough times lie ahead. I faced the fact that I may not be able to work at full capacity for some time. So I had to give up my Classified position. Not only for my own peace of mind but, mostly, as much as I know they love me at the school, they need a lead teacher to be dependable, healthy and strong. Clearly, I haven’t been such for some time now and I probably won’t be for the next few months or so. It’s just not fair to them to ask them to hold my position for the next year, maybe, and try to get by without me. I know how necessary a dependable, strong lead teacher is in that position so they really need the freedom to fill it.

So in my resignation letter, I indicated my strong desire to return to the position at a later date, when my health improves. My boss assured me they will do everything in their powers to do so. In the meantime, I intend to try to work part time as an assistant lead teacher, come the Spring semester (starts mid-January). It really all depends on what my treatment program entails and how my immunity and overall health levels are by then. We’ll see.

The people I work with (and especially my boss) are the greatest! They are all supportive and completely understanding of my predicament. I still feel welcomed and loved by them even though I’ve really felt like I’ve been standing them up for the past two and a half months by not being able to work. In fact, one of my friends and now-ex-coworker at the school (she quit in August to stay home with her first baby and I ended up basically filling her position at school) is talking to me about the two of us working together to care for some infants and babies in our homes in the foreseeable future. Again, we’ll wait and see.

I’m going to miss my school. Of course, I’ll still stop by and visit and participate in family events when I can. But mostly, I’m going to miss interacting with those wonderful children and awesome staff on a daily basis. Sorry, Oprah, but I’d take them over daytime TV any day of the week!