Aftermath: Day One
I did a lot of visualization yesterday and this morning. Visualizing the CAKE flowing through my body. Millions of these little tiny blue stick-figure lookin’ dudes are gathered all over my tumor like a construction crew. One of them is in charge. He uses a megaphone to get everyone on his crew in position. There is an elite team (Team A) assigned to pulling the tumor away from my right hepatic vein - the one where Dr. Wizard said, “If the entire rest of the tumor shrank but the part surrounding that vein did not, then I still wouldn’t be able to do anything for you. You need to tell it to shrink away from that vein!” So, Team A has these strong little grapplers attached to the inside of the tumor, between the tumor and the vein. They then pull the tumor away from the vein in about 10 different directions, all at once.
So when the CAKE starts coming in, the crew boss has another team to collect it in buckets and distribute it to everyone on his crew. Some of the guys attach the little CAKE bits (they’re tubular and are multi-colored inside) to the business end of their jackhammers, then jump on and start pounding the CAKE right into the fat, white, rough-textured tumor. Some other guys use these enormous poles to drill deep into the tumor - drills not unlike those in oil-well drilling. Once they get the hole as deep as they can go, they send several of the CAKE tubes into the hole, where the tubes explode and dissolve bits of the tumor while it’s at it. Team A attaches bits of the CAke to the inside of their grapplers, which help loosen the tumor’s connection to the vein as they pull with all their might.
These dudes work overtime. The nurses told me that the CAKE generally is active in my system for 48 hours after infusion. So they won’t quit until they run out of CAKE, then they’ll redirect their efforts until the next infusion.
Oh, I forgot to tell you about the ladies! There are thousands of these similar-looking ladies, but they are white, draped in hooded white cloaks. They are all on their knees covering the surface of my healthy liver, which is red and brown and spongy and strong. They’re on their knees because they are rubbing their soft hands all along the surface of the healthy liver, soothing it, picking bits of stray tumor or cat hairs (HA!) that have fallen here and there. I think these ladies hum softly while they work but you can’t really hear them over the clanking and pounding of the Tumor Crew.
They’re all still working hard today but now they’ve begun pulling up CAKE from the other parts of my body: from my legs, my head, my arms, etc. If the CAKE is deemed necessary to treat other parts of my body that I’m not aware of, it has already attached itself to those parts and are working with their own team of Tumor Crews (thought I’m not aware of it). The Liver Tumor Crew gets the leftovers - whatever those other guys aren’t using because the Liver is GROUND ZERO - or NUMBERO UNO!
I’ll try to draw a picture of these guys when I can. They just popped into my head during treatment yesterday and they make me feel better knowing they’re in there doing me a lot of good. Horray for them!
Soooooo…last night I felt like an alien or a mutant. I had weird body feelings and was very tired. I spent the whole evening on the couch, but was able to eat a small dinner. I felt so weird but kept reminding myself, “so, this is what people on CAKE feel like, huh. Alright then.”
This morning I had more of the same as well as additional symptoms. Here is how I described them in a email to my dad this morning:
Brief hallucinations, extreme and lingering tingling in the tips of my fingers when I touch something that’s not necessarily COLD but not warm, the ability to doze off just by closing my eyes (even sitting up) for more than a few seconds, and it feels like there is a rock stuck in the back of my throat that I only feel when I swallow food or pills.
They have been mostly bearable as I have been lying on the sofa most of the morning. But when I talked to Honey a while ago, he got concerned. I looked through the paperwork the nurses gave me all about each of the drugs in my CAKE yesterday and found a couple of the aforementioned under the category of “Call your doctor or nurse immediately.” Which I did but had to leave a message. I will try again in an hour.
Frank is on his way to deliver me some peanut butter fudge! YUM! My favorite this time of year!
I’ll let you know what the doc or nurses say when I talk to them.
*********UPDATE*************
Act III: Scene I
Enter: Diarrea
Joy. The more symptoms the merrier.
Basically, I feel like my insides have been removed, puree’d in a food processor and then replanted back into my body with hammers and nails. It can only get better from here!
Nurse Skippy (that’s what Honey calls him because he’s sort of flaky) says that one of the drugs in CAKE causes some wonky interruptions to my neurological system, which is probably causing the tingling in my fingers, cramping in my calves, and hallucinations. He says if they get worse overnight, I should go to the ER - though I doubt that will be necessary. And if it’s not better in a day or two, I can go in and see a doctor. He wasn’t sure about the throat thing but he assured me that if it were anything serious it’s too early for it to have shown up yet. Great. How comforting.
Scarlett is squeaking one of her toys for me. Dobby is barking at anything that moves outside (especially the Christmas present delivery peeps). And the cats are taking turns holding me down on the couch. Honey’s on his way home to listen to me moan, complain and, eventually, snore!
What have I eaten today? A bran-filled cereal with soy milk and ground flax seed on top and a cup of coffee with an organic natural no-calorie sweetener for breakfast. For lunch I had an organic raspberry yogurt with hemp, flax and whole grain granola mixed in. Oh and a Powerade. I have ZERO appetite, which was expected. But when I start shaking, I know it’s time to eat something. For dinner I’ll probably have a Carnation shake. Frank brought me chocolate fudge and Sister brought me home-made peanut butter fudge from Carolyn. I have tasted neither just yet but I intend to! Thank you guys!






