These two are the best boys I know! Daddy made me breakfast rice which is the best comfort food on the planet and I ate a lot of it today. And then later, in the midst of my sadness today, he called and came and took me out with the dogs to the Bark Park for some romping fun! He has a way, just like my Honey does, of putting me in a much better mood than I started out. He heard the sadness in my voice this morning and came right over to help out, even though he lives many miles away. That’s a great dad for you!

And then Honey came right home after work and took us all out to dinner at Old Chicago’s. I scarfed down a big pile of Italian Nachos (it’s awesome not having to watch what I eat and being able to actually EAT things again!) and watched them both drink a beer or two. They are almost like brothers when they get together…both teasing me and poking fun at me and my spoiled ways! I always have fun with them, even if they are booooooyyyyyys!

Thanks, Daddy and Honey! You’re the best!

I am stuck in a world of HATE towards my cancer.

Someone just sent me one of those “tell me about yourself” emails and there was a question: “What is your least favorite thing about yourself?”

I answered “my stupid fucking asshole of a shithead cancer.”

I couldn’t think of any more expletives to use. It came out of nowhere. Mostly because I’ve been tooling around the house prepping for the cleaning crew and my liver started hurting more and more. I had to stop working. And it pissed me off to no end. I am limited by my pain, my anger, and my resentment.

I think I may have a lot of work to do before I can find peace and healing within.

I’ve solved some problems in the past couple of weeks and I thought I’d share them with you!

Remember when I was complaining about the acne that CAKE is causing me? I want to first of all thank the couple of you who offered some suggestions. I whipped out a bottle of Witch Hazel astringent and added tea tree oil right away. I also went to the store and discovered that most OTC acne treatments include either salicylic acid or benzoyl peroxide as their active ingredients. I’ve been usin salicylic acid for years to spot treat my occasional acne but it wasn’t working with the CAKE breakouts. So I found the highest percentage of benzoyl peroxide in a face wash and spot treatment at the grocery store in a Neutrogena product line. At the same time I started researching Proactiv products online. You know those commercials on TV where Jessica Simpson and Vanessa Williams all hoot and hollar about how wonderful Proactiv has been in clearing up their acne problems? Yep, that’s the one. Anyway, in researching the ingredients in their products, I found that Proactive has the same active ingredients in what I got via Neutrogena but for a lot more money. The active ingredient in their face wash and spot treatment? Benzoyl Peroxide. And the active ingredient in their toner? Witch hazel (and aloe instead of tea tree but basically the same idea). Anyway, I decided not to order the Proactiv for now and the Neutrogena stuff is working just fine for me. I still have acne but it’s under much better control this time around with the use of these products. WHEW!

Also, how could you forget the searing tongue pains I was having? Have your cheese-grated sores healed up yet? (Yuck. sorry that was so gross!) On suggestion of my dentist, I went out and bought as many Biotene products as I could find (toothpaste, mouthwash and gum) and started using all of them daily and nightly. Their main purpose is to combat dry mouth by killing the excessive bacteria in the mouth (much like Listerine does but in a milder flavor, and possibly stronger active ingredients). It was also recommended to me by some of the CAKE nurses on staff at the hospital. So I got all that stuff and started using it regularly. I was just relieved to find a toothpaste and mouthwash that didn’t burn my mouth up inside! But the best surprise of all is…three days after CAKE and I was still able to eat a raspberry vinegrette on my salad and pepper on my steamed veggies! HORRAY! I still have some small sores in my mouth that I need to be gentle with but overall, my tongue isn’t scoured and burning anymore! That Biotene stuff really works! “And there was much rejoicing!”

With Nurse Skippy’s help last week, I had transfered a couple of my regular meds from the store pharmacy to the mail-order pharmacy so that I could get more quantity for less cost. Unfortunately, the mail-order pharmacy was taking their sweet ole time filling the new scripts and I wasn’t going to have it all in time for my post-CAKE nausea symptoms last week. So, Honey spent a couple days on the phone between various people and ended up discovering an angel working for us at the pharmacy at our local grocery store. I’ve called there recently to move scripts from the hospital to them, just for convenience’s sake, and now they actually know me by name! Honey has been there so much to fill so many meds for me that when I called, this lady Cindy said, “Hi Abbey! How are you feeling? Your husband was just in a couple hours ago!” LOL Fabulous. I’m famous at the pharmacy. Don’t you have to be 85 years old and balding to be known on a first name basis with your pharmacist?! Anyway, she was super sweet to me. And last week, Honey had particular trouble getting our insurance company to override a prescription that was in limbo, waiting to be filled by the mail order pharmacy and move it temporarily to the grocery store so that I could get just a handful of these particular pills to help with my pending and debilitating nausea. At some point, things started happening rather quickly. Once this Cindy lady caught wind of Honey’s phone calls and struggles, she assured us she would take care of it. Even though someone else at her pharmacy had called earlier in the day to tell me they only had two of those particular pills in stock, she called a couple hours later to tell us that she will track down more for us in our area no matter what it takes and get our insurance company to approve it. She took all the worry out of it. She ended up getting more pills from Walgreens - one of their biggest competitors! Can you imagine?! I was shocked. It was like once she heard it was us on the phone trying to get this arranged, she took over for us and made everything fall into place! She is a real blessing in disguise! Now I’m trying to figure out an appropriate gift to give her to show our sincere and strong appreciation. A plant? She works right in front of the floral department and looks at plants and flowers all day long. Maybe a gift card to a nearby restaurant? Or just a nice card? I’m not sure the ettiquite here and I don’t want to wait till the holidays roll around again to show my appreciation. Any ideas?

So there you have it. Three wonderful solutions to nagging problems I’ve been having! Horray! Now, if we could just do something about the blurred vision and diminished sex drive! Sorry! TMI!!!!!!