CT scan Friday at 8am. I simply cannot wait to wake up at 5:00am to start drinking liquid chalk. Oh. It’s apple flavored. That means it will taste GOOD, right?! >:)

Here is a little reminder for myself:

Dear Self,

Chemo is still in my system. It slows me down. There are more red blood cells than white blood cells in my system right now. Yes, even almost two weeks after an infusion. Ninety percent of my body’s energy is being used daily to kick the cancer’s ass. That only leaves me 10% of my own energy to do other things like water the plants, make and eat meals, play with the dogs. I need to remember this. I haven’t had a treatment in over a week. But it’s still in my system, still fighting, still working, still using all of my energy. That’s why I run out of energy so quickly. That’s why I have pain (because the chemo is breaking up my tumor and obliterating it). ShrinkyDink says the chemo won’t be completely cleared of my system until at least 6 months after my final treatment and we are nowhere near that yet.
SLOW DOWN! Practice patience with yourself. Take time to just breathe and rest. Make a list every night of three or four things you want to work on the next day. Then, during the day, spend 10 minutes on each task, stop after 10 minutes, eat something, drink water and rest. Get up an hour later or so…whenever you feel like it…and do some more for 10 minutes. Repeat. If you don’t get it all done, don’t worry - just write it on the next day’s task list. You have the opportunity to take this time to heal and rest…USE IT.
Be patient. Slow down. Relax. Take care of you.
Love,
Yourself

This morning I woke up and found the following message from one of my Young Empowered Survivors group members in my Inbox. It touched me so much I wanted to put it up here to reflect on throughout the day and later. Happy Valentine’s Day to all!

As we go forth amongst the snow, traffic, treatments, grief, and
sorrow, remember we are all made of love. Close your eyes today and
breathe. Know that we are all safe, loved, beautiful. We grieve, we
are afraid…but within our deepest soul, we have strength and radiance
that encompasses all we touch, see, speak….Embrace your day, allow
ALL the emotions to dwell within you…give them time to resonate, and
you will pass with lightness of being. Remember to close your eyes and
breathe. Acknowledging what comes up will move you past it with grace
and more wisdom. Love to you all this day. -Carrie

We are going to a benefit dinner/silent auction on Saturday night for MyLifeLine.org, an online support network for cancer warriors like me! Sorry for the late notice but I just realized that you can bid for things online if you want to! So click here to check out the list of things you can bid on and then click here to find out how to place a bid. Hurry, though, online bidding ends tonight at midnight!