The drinking of the chalky barium “smoothie” isn’t really the bad part of a CAT scan. The fasting for hours before that isn’t even so bad. The cold, hard dressing room in which they give you a lovely gown (I wore my Chihuahua scrubs!) and a locker key attached to a giant clipboard isn’t really the bad part either. The dixie cup of lemonade-tasting fluid they make you chug right before climbing on the table in front of the donut camera isn’t so bad. Nor is the injection of the weird hot fluid they shoot you up with that runs through your veins and makes you feel like you peed your pants right there on the table. No.

Truly, the ultimate worst part of an upper abdominal CAT scan comes about 4 hours later when the chalky barium, lemonade water and injection of hot fluid gathers together in a brigade and stampedes through your lower intestines for the next several hours, doubling you over in gassy, noisy, stinky pain followed by several speed dives towards the toilet. Really. Trust me. THAT is the worst part.

Needless to say, it’s been a fun afternoon at Chez Honey. The good news, though, is I had a quick CBC done whilst at the hospital this morning just so I could find out if I’m healthy enough for a tattoo, should I feel so inclined this weekend. Actually, the good news is that my CBC looks great: platelets, white blood cell count, everything is within the normal range. Though, my blood pressure was a tad high when I checked in this morning. The nurse wasn’t very concerned about it: she was too wrapped up in talking about the dog on my scrubs and her “dumb dog” at home and how we should get them together to mate someday! I’ve always had perfect blood pressure so I’m not familiar with this: how high does it have to be, or how consistantly high does it have to be to cause the nurses concern? And what’s to happen if it remains high and goes unchecked? I read an article today in the MD Anderson newsletter (I’m in their club now!) that many chemotherapies can cause long term hypertension which, though usually manageable through medications, is a form of persistant high blood pressure. Granted, I’m not freaking out and assuming I have hypertension now that I had one high blood pressure reading today. I’m just curious as to how that all works. They check my blood pressure almost every time I walk through the doors of the hospital, so I was just wondering what’s supposed to happen when it reads out in the high range?

Well, I think the gut-wrenching barium batallion has finally subsided. I shall now go partake in some of my valentines candy!

P.S. How was your Valentine’s Day? Our was lovely. Honey came home with new perfume for me and made me my favorite turkey burgers on the Foreman grill with havarti cheese melted on them. Mmmm We had french fries, green beans and pickles with it. Yum! Then we hung out and watched TV together. It was very romantic! Just our kind of romance!