This is just a quick note from Mr. Honey to let you know that we had Internet issues at home over the weekend that led to the purchase of a new wireless router…add to that the fact that Honey’s chemo meds are making her very tired = Honey not posting recently. She wants everyone to know that she is fine but that she is very tired (she has been napping a lot). We have CAKE this Friday and I will try to post a lengthier post then.

I’m not feeling very well this week. I slept almost all day yesterday, in between the cleaning ladies’ arrival waking me up in the morning and then leaving two hours later. I got a hair cut last night so that makes me feel pretty.

I have pain in my tumor this week. I think it’s related to the Xeloda pills and I also think it means that they’re WORKING.

Still no word from Dr. DoomAndGloom or his nurse regarding the CAT scan results. I really don’t care though because Honey picked up a copy of the report and a CD of the actual images while we were at the hospital on Friday for CAKE. The report basically says no change in size, density or anything. The good news is it doesn’t say it appears to have spread anywhere else in the vacinity. The bad news is it doesn’t corroborate with Dr. Kane’s assessment that it’s less dense than before. Oh well. I’m not really anxious to hear from Dr. DoomAndGloom anyway because I’m sure all he’ll tell me is bad news and a bunch of crap I don’t want or need to hear. When Dr. Kane tells me it’s time to start thinking about doing another chemo embolization, then I’ll seek out his opinion and get signed up on his list…or maybe, better yet, ask for a different surgeon to do it since I was so disappointed with him. Hmmm. Something to think about.

Still nursing two sick but slowly improving puppy dogs here. We’re all just resting and taking it easy. I’m giving Honey the week off from CAKE this week and just got Sister to agree to go with me on Friday. It only lasts about 4 hours lately (barring any white blood cell complications, of course) so as long as she brings a good book or some magazines to entertain her while I take a wee nap, we’ll make it a good time when I’m awake.

What is the attraction of boxes and baskets to cats? I bought a new large-ish basket that’s lined with canvas for us to collect and haul things up and down the stairs when we straighten the house. I brought it down and emptied it this morning around 9 and ever since then, Merlyn has taken claim to it. He’s either been sitting, lying, bathing himself, or napping in it for hours now! He loves it! As long as he doesn’t pee in it, I might need to let him have it as his very own. Good for him, the little Man Cat!

A few months ago, several of you brought over a bunch of food for us! We stuck most of it in our freezer and have been pulling meals out from time to time.

A couple days ago we defrosted and heated up a lasagna that was SOOOOOOOO tasty! It was in one of those foil trays with the plastic lids on top and the cooking directions were written in pen on the plastic lid. I tell you these little details only because we can’t seem to remember who brought us this lasagna!!! I’m still heating some of it up for my lunch as I type this and I just wanted to personally thank you whoever made it for us! So if that sounds like your dish, please don’t be shy…throw a comment to this post claiming it as yours so I can properly thank you. Yum!

How in the world do I follow such a touching post from Honey? We’ve talked a lot in private about the drastic change in ‘normalcy’ that our lives have endured in the past 6 months but reading his post brought tears to my eyes again. When I stop to think how different things are nowdays, I am beyond stunned. Everything Honey said is true and for me I feel even more so. One of the things I’ve been stuck on lately is my mom. I keep dreaming about her. And then I wake up and think she’ll be back from her travels soon and then we can talk again, or go out to lunch or something. Anything. Then follows this empty space: the harsh realization that she’s not there anymore. Sure, she’s always “there,” or “here” with me…I feel that. But I don’t get to hear her laughter or her witty cracks or her nagging me about my poor use of grammar or her complaints about her hair color/cut/whatever.

Basically, it boils down to the fact that I miss her. I really do. Sometimes I cry about it, other times I laugh and feel good that she’s always in my heart. I do feel she’s always with me. I just wish I could hug her again.

Okay enough of that.
We had a great weekend. It turned out to be an almost normal weekend! It was go go go and fun fun fun!

Saturday we took Sister her belated birthday present and visited with her a bit. Then we went to the in-laws’ house and set off their alarm for some excitement (they’re out of town and it’s always a gamble whether or not they’ve set the alarm!). Fortunately, we dug up and punched in the magic code before the cops showed up so it wasn’t a problem! We dropped off mama’s birthday present and picked up a couple of tools we needed to borrow (don’t parents just have the coolest stuff to borrow?!).

Then we went to a new nearby coffee house called Enchanted Grounds. An old family friend of mine and dad’s and a motorcycle riding buddy of Honey’s created a new board game that incorporates motorcycle trivia and poker! It’s called American Throttle and it’s TONS of fun! I barely know anything about motorcycles but I still had fun guessing at some of the trivia questions. The good news is they’re not all about motorcycle parts and pieces: some of the questions are about music or movies that are sometimes associated with the biker lifestyle. And some of them are pictures of common traffic signs you’ll see along the road so as long as you have a driver’s license, you have a pretty good chance at guessing the answers.

This coffee shop we were at has been open about a year now and it’s literally less than a mile from our house but we’ve never been there before. Well, on Saturday we discovered it’s way more than a coffee shop! They sell a bunch of comic books and rare and intellectually-based games. Not to mention they have several tables set up that were full of people (adults, kids, geeks all alike!) playing Dungeons and Dragons, Magic the Gathering and other such role playing games. It was fun to be sitting in the middle of such an environment playing American Throttle with our friends. It’s usually played with a beer or cocktail in hand but it was equally as fun with my big bottle of water! We spent a few hours there and I came nowhere near winning but it was fun anyway!

We came home to watch the Simpsons movie. Fun. Stupid. Typical Simpsons. Just an extra-long episode that referred to some things the creators couldn’t refer to on national television! Good for a few laughs. The night before we watched Superbad which is a total GUY movie with way too much cussing for me. Although it did have some laughable moments — it wasn’t too bad.

Sunday Honey had an appointment to get his second tattoo of a pair he had designed over a year ago. The tattoo shop was closed so it was just me, Honey and Fish, our inky artist. I got to lie down and chill out on their big fluffy red sofas while Fish put Honey through three hours of pain on his arm! The finished product looks great…I’ll show you pictures next week after it heals a little bit.

By mid afternoon, I was completely out of energy and in quite a bit of pain. Extra pain meds did not work and the Xeloda was taking its toll on me. Honey brought me home and “poured” me into the couch where I napped throughout the rest of the evening. I’m still in a bit of pain today and now Dobby has caught whatever Scarlett had last week so I’m not only nursing myself but also two sick dogs and little Miss Ophelia that we’re dogsitting for dad (he picks her up today — it was fun having her here even though she hates Scarlett!). So it’s a mellow day alone here — just how I like it sometimes. I’ll be back on my feet tomorrow, I’m sure. I just need a day off from GO GO GOING! ya know?

How was everyone else’s weekend? What’d you do?

I have had this topic in my head for a few days now. What is normal? Normal life? Unfortunately at the Hospital, Internet connectivity is a little slow (it makes me think of the South Park episode from this Wednesday night). The website dictionary.reference.com has a definition of normal as: 2. serving to establish a standard.

Previous to last September, normal for us was probably just like everyone else (at least that is what we like to think). Abbey would work with the kids at pre-school and I was working downtown. Hospital trips were few and far between (ask me sometime about our “motorcycle accident”). Honey’s energy levels were up and we could stay out all day and party all night (well at least till 10pm.). We could eat at restaurants whenever we wanted and didn’t have to worry about whether or not food was too spicy (Honey would never choose the spicy green chili at the Rio anyways). We would ride motorcycles together and go see bands that had people we knew playing in them.

Most of that has changed. Normal now is Fridays at the hospital…spending lots of time at home…cutting short or cancelling travel plans. Now don’t get me wrong! We went to Santa Fe last month and had a very good time. It just seems that what is normal now is something that we never expected.

Momma and I talked a few weeks ago and she apologized to me saying that she was sorry that she didn’t prepare me for this. I told her that there this is one of those things that you really cannot prepare for. It is one of those things that you have to take and fly by the seat of your pants. Momma don’t worry it is tough but we can do it and we will beat this thing.

As we go on and when Honey beats this cancer into submission, our normal will change again. Things will be different than they are now. We will be older and we will have new stories to tell our friends. We will be able to drive past this part of town and say “Do you remember when we were going over there every Friday?”

What does the future bring to all of us? Change. I will always love my Honey and she will always love me but she may drive a different car….we may live in a different town…we may have different jobs.

Wow. Ok so I ride along on these philisophical waves and ram myself right into a brick wall. My brain says “STOP” and I say “um what was I talking about….where are we going”

Honey is sleeping and twitching as she gets her IV drugs. I am going to go get a copy of her cat scan from earlier this week so that we can send it to Dr Curly in Texas.