The opportunity has presented itself to endure another dose of chemoembolization. Honey and I are discussing it at length and making our own decision, naturally. But I want to know, as my dear dear friends and family, what do you think I should do? Knowing that two week hell the last embolization put me through, should I try it again now (even though we didn’t see significant results) or just continue with this IV and pill chemo regimine i’ve been on (three weeks on, one week off)? I’m just curious as to what ya’ll think. I had my last one done March 17 so feel free to scan backwards on the calendar up there on the left side of the page to see how it went.

Sorry, guys, I’m just not in the mood to post much lately. Everything’s fine, though. I survived Mother’s Day and had a great time in Breckenridge! Dobby’s back is much better and my dad and I are planning and planting a garden in my backyard this week and next. That’s what’s new. Now here’s a post I wrote while in the mountains last weekend:

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When/if the Big C shatters your life into a million pieces, you are left tattered, torn, scared and confused. With the help of good friends, family and loved ones, you slowly begin to pick up the pieces and put most of them back into place. I say “most” of them because your life will never be the same as it was before so there’s just no room for all the old pieces that resembled your perfect life.
So your life begins to take on a mosaic-style of appearance. Day by day, week by week, pill by pill, you glue bits of your life back together. You toss out some old pieces that you had grown tired of anyway (what a great opportunity to make changes! I’m going to stop being so negative all the time!). Unfortunately, there are parts of your life that you have to just set aside “for now” because some of the new pieces (chemo, nausea, strange and unusual side effects like a brown-coloring on the sides of your fingers, searing tongue, etc.) have taken up too much space. You have to carry those pieces in a special bag for later when you’re finished with those new pieces. Although, it is important to keep in mind that you may end up actually keeping some of these new pieces - such as a new-fondness for silly socks, or becoming more bold and outwardly friendly towards complete strangers because you have a better understanding of how cancer seems to root itself in all the toxic negativity plaguing the world. Just hang on to some of those old pieces that you kinda liked but can do without for now (obsessions with Friday night margaritas and burritos at the Rio, playing with a room full of 3 year olds with all their sniffles, coughs and sneezes).

I’ve been going through this mosaic idea for a while now in my head. I think someday I’ll create my own mosaic art piece. Where to start? I’m not really sure. But I’m starting to see it in my head. At the end of this life-changing challenge, maybe I’ll have a beautiful piece of art to show for it!