I’ve begun taking showers at night before bed now, to help my scalp shed all the loose bits that have detatched from my scalp throughout the day. Despite my uber-short new cut, last night I lost enough hair in the shower to clog up the drain. It sort of freaked me out. I used to think that people going through chemo who end up completely bald must be really very sick and/or very near the end of their lives. But as I started losing my hair, I realized that’s not true. The baldness is just a side effect of drugs that are working hard on kicking the cancer’s butt. That helped me switch my attitude from “woe is me, I’m losing my hair so I must be really sick” to “this is just an outward sign to people that I’m fighting for my life.” And then I thought of our trip to the south east coast in July and how hot and sweaty I would be with my full head of thick hair. That’s the silver lining I thought of as I cleaned out the drain from what felt like a half pound of 1/2″ long hairs. I think I might have Honey shave me shorter tonight so I don’t keep experiencing that (not to mention the hairs that, no matter how hard or long I rinse, I cannot get off my body! Yuck!).

I’d like to have a couple wigs, though. Maybe one or two “for real” wigs that look like normal hair and then maybe a sassy blue one or a funky purple just for fun. But I don’t know where to start or how to shop for a wig. Any survivors out there have any suggestions or advise for me? Of course I googled “wigs” but was overwhelmed by the plethora of options available to me! So far, it seems that Racquel Welch has usurped the wig industry.

Yesterday, I went to a hot rod car show with Honey and his dad. We did a lot of walking out side and I really enjoyed myself. But by the time I got home, my hand-foot-syndrome returned in full force. You can read all the details of this delightfully painful side effect here or check out the summary below:

Palmar-Plantar Erythrodysesthesia is a side effect, which can occur with several types of chemotherapy or biologic therapy drugs used to treat cancer…Following administration of chemotherapy, small amounts of drug leak out of very small blood vessels called capillaries in the palms of the hands and soles of the feet. Exposure of your hands and feet to heat as well as friction on your palms and soles increases the amount of drug in the capillaries and increases the amount of drug leakage. This leakage of drug results in redness, tenderness, and possibly peeling of the palms and soles…Hand-foot syndrome can be uncomfortable and can interfere with your ability to carry out normal activities.

Thankfully, I’m not red and peeling on my hands or feet but my feet feel like they are on fire and rubbing on sand paper with every step I take while my hands really hurt when I grab hold or try to turn something like a bottle cap or whatnot. I guess all the walking yesterday aggravated my feet and today I am really paying for it. It’s a day on the sofa for me. I’d really rather be out in my garden, putting my new butternut squash plant in the ground. Maybe tomorrow.