Sunscreen is NOT hair gel
So, I’m getting ready to go out today and it’s incredibly sunny and hot outside. I decide to wear sunscreen on my rapidly-balding head. I rub loose (aka, frantically rubbing my head with a clean hand towel) any stray hairs that are ready to sacrifice themselves, then pour a little sunscreen into my palms. Rub together. And then apply to head.
What happens?
My hands are immediately covered in hair. So much hair it looks like I have furry mittens on. Plus more is sticking to the back and sides of my neck. Not pretty at all. I can wash the hairs off my hands with enough soap and water but the strays on my neck are harder to pry loose. I tried the aforementioned towel technique to no avail. I tried a hair dryer, which just made me hot and sweat more which made the hairs stick where they are. It’s a freaking mess around here!
I need scarves and turbans. I found this site where I can order some online but I think I need to mess with some scarves in a store before I commit to any one style or shape, I guess. I don’t know. I’m new to this balding fashion thing.
Today I will be wearing my CANCER WARRIOR baseball cap. The family’s coming to get me for lunch because relatives are visiting. 
I have to ask them to stop at a clothing store so I can get some shorts that fit me…all of last year’s summer clothes are falling off me. I think I’ve dropped about two sizes - still in the plus department I think but quickly on my way out.
Stupid hair. Honey says we’ll shave it even shorter tonight. That is, if there’s any hair left to shave!